Howl

...

2012-01-17T07:38:00.000-08:00

Work is going on as usual.

Workshops have been interesting.

Going to Galle this Thursday and hoping to return on Saturday.

Nothing else other than that.

Chakra

2011-11-24T23:00:00.000-08:00

Flooding your consciousness

Grappling with your underwear

Skipping past brothels on a chilly November night

Harlots of nearby streets wave at you

The cloudy night sky throws chicken pies at you.

Snow Drops

2011-11-24T22:52:00.000-08:00

Snow drops are falling,

falling and falling.

On the borders of countries,

On the borders of hearts.

Bridges of hope,

night sky's of star dust,

snow drops keep falling,

for your heart and mine.

Give me your heart,

So I can melt the snow drops.

The spring charged rainbows,

they call out to me.

We build snow-castles,

on white river embankments,

Our hands held together,

the snow sifts in-between.

Our Heroes

2011-11-20T21:16:00.000-08:00

War heroes

Cat heroes, dog heroes

all heroes

naked heroes

over-sexed heroes

in the undergrowth of nothing land

cooking up,scoring

yellow teeth,in Tinkerbell street

in moonshine bars of hell

raving, screaming with their arrogant balls

after snorting, sniffing,scoring,

the whole day.

No....

2011-11-20T07:45:00.001-08:00

No cold winter

No sweet snow

No snow flakes

everyone, fake.

The grass not white

The birds not home

No holes made on-

the snow by my shoes.

The sweltering hot sun

continues to run and ramble on.

Haiku

2011-10-20T23:46:00.000-07:00

Heart Leaping

Stop!

Says 'I'

Feelings

2011-10-04T02:10:00.000-07:00

A schizophrenic beats his drum, quite literally. A manic depressive swings from one foot to the other, keeping with the rhythm of the music. Another schizophrenic plays the piano and now they have all come for tea. Someone else, oh wait! A schizophrenic stares at me, only momentarily. A hypochondriac comes to sit next to me to sip his tea. Two Schizophrenics have a loud chat and an I don't know what asks me what broadband is. I hear incessant laughter, loud slurps of tea that some of us pompous old windbags might call 'rude' and 'uncivilized'.

I am surrounded by ' psycho's'. But, Who the Fuck am I?

Aren't I a little bit of all these folks? Don't I have my moments?

Well. all in all, aren't we all fucking human? We maybe bound by that almost invisible line that we ourselves have created between sanity and insanity, but then again, who are we to draw any lines?

Who are we to cast fellow human beings aside?

Sigh..All we do is push, shove and toss people aside and rarely do we bother to accept them. What we really need is to hold hands, hug each other, and Damn it! We must verbally say 'I love You', we must feel it and we must say it from our hearts.

Verbally say it and physically show it before we sit in boardrooms drawing up policies that are fit for the trash can or before we write letter after letter almost obsessively asking, always asking for this, that and everything else that we feel we can grab.

When are we ready, deep within us to give without always asking, nagging all sundry for things so fickle, material and for things absolutely not human.

So, now all the schizophrenics, manic depressives, phobics and others with unknown labels are packing up to go home.

May they go in peace and with love.

Disclaimer: This is not intended to increase already existing stigma, or to slander anybody or any organization. These are just personal feelings that needed venting, so here they are.

Haiku

2011-10-03T06:56:00.001-07:00

Everyone blubbering,

like blundering baboons,

blowing balloons.

Haiku

2011-09-28T01:46:00.003-07:00

Canopy of green,

spaces

souls at ease.

Haiku

2011-09-28T01:46:00.001-07:00

A bird squeals,

sheer joy

in autumn, I breathe.

Haiku

2011-09-28T01:45:00.001-07:00

The khaki man,

stops me

I flash, walk on.

Haiku

2011-09-28T01:43:00.000-07:00

Coffee machine,

squarshhhhhhhhh!

the waiter bows.

Haiku

2011-09-28T01:42:00.002-07:00

Juices flow,

serenity

rings in my heart.

Haiku

2011-09-28T01:42:00.001-07:00

Organ ripping,

through my soul

Oh! Happiness.

Haiku

2011-09-28T01:41:00.001-07:00

Seasons evolve

wings,

they flutter.

Haiku

2011-09-28T01:40:00.000-07:00

Folks strewn around

staring

they bask in commonality.

To Be

2011-09-14T21:45:00.000-07:00

Cloudy skies, grey and bleak,

birds at home, resting at ease,

rains will fall, the leaves of our trees,

greener they will be, for us to be free.

The sun comes out, our shadows at play.

Chattering beauties, dancing they sway.

The distant sky, so close it seems,

evade us it may, to hold it close, we pray.

The circle of life, birth and death.

Chronicles of truth, and anecdotes of hate.

the earth turns with us, and with each passing day,

may the oceans keep us, in it's embrace, safe.

Haiku

2011-09-14T21:38:00.000-07:00

A lull in the sound waves,

post mid-day meal blues,

the sun filters through, it grazed me.

Solitary prayers,

the dhamma bellowed

the depths of my heart, fragile

Drum -rolls in the distance,

the evening sky, orange,

an autumn breeze, blows east.

A pleasure filled dawn, luscious white,

the Araliya flowers,

put me at ease.

Work so far...

2011-08-08T07:04:00.000-07:00

It has been two months at my first job. I have changed offices twice, due to various circumstances. It has been very interesting so far with a great deal of new experiences, new faces and new places. I have learnt so much about organizational politics, back scrubbing and back biting, hissing, spitting and of course love. It somehow feels great to be given responsibility and even greater to do justice to all the responsibility handed from down and up.

The day begins at 8.30am and ends at 4.30 and in between is just some random times for tea and lunch. There is of course sometime to chat informally with colleagues and also to dream. Work comes in all fashion and fancies everyday. It could be, make a poster, design an advertisement, make a PowerPoint presentation, update the website and any thing else at random. This is other than counseling and lecturing of course. The reception is usually the hangout spot where we crack our jokes, share our happiness and sadness, eat chocolate, dream, write and of course answer the telephone.

I meet different people everyday, all of them human. I get to see humanity in different forms. I get to see suffering first hand, but also smiles, laughter, dance and music. The atmosphere at work is serene and peaceful. Trees, shrubs, green luscious grass, and a gentle breeze that is just there to carry he, she, they, them and me.

It's a funny world out there, and I am just beginning to live in it.

'Cogito Ergo Sum'

Song of the Betel Chewer

2011-07-05T03:15:00.000-07:00

Distant songs; meanderings,
of birds and other beasts
free from grilled windows,
green capsules,
they sing plenty sweet songs,
for me...
While I gaze, into nothingness,
which draws out of me, the opium I call life.

Bright red lips, trickles of stale betel,
dripping, leaving it's mark
on clinical walls, that imprison me.

I pray they go with me.

Everyone else, wanders around
in empty hallways,
their shadow, their only friend,
they take their turn at living,
one stride of pain at a time.

Glazed eyes I see, glistening with tears albeit dry,
wasted burrows on her bosom and on his sucked in chest,
tethered, their wings clipped,
I wither along with them
and I near the journey of Sansara,
for release I crave, from my desolate world,
a last breath I need,
to bid adieu, to the empty hallway, my one and only friend.

Freedom to me...

2011-07-04T09:38:00.001-07:00

A bird nestled, on top a Mahogani Tree,

it's wings tender like moonlit February,

they caress me, the soft feathers they speak,

that's freedom to me...

Hearts wild, heads light

the moon light blue and soothing.

Waves of twilight rustle in my soul,

that's freedom to me...

Like the bird and the sea

the flowers sweet,

a gentle tide brushes against my callused feet,

that's freedom to me...

Freedom, Freedom, Freedom

Men yell, kill, maim and taunt, all for freedom.

but, a smile with a hint of love,

that's freedom to me...

Body Odour at the Workplace

2011-06-22T07:01:00.000-07:00

We all sweat,it is a natural mechanism of the body, but unfortunately tends to emit an unpleasant smell, that we call body odour. Some people have no visible odour at all, while for some it is a cocktail of garlic and other condiments. This odour stays with you and it becomes your signature statement.

In a workplace setting, if someone with bad body odour passes your cubicle, you at once know who the person is. Why? because that odour is the person's signature. It is however important to know, that the odour differs from individual to individual.

In an office, a breath of fresh air is needed most often because you encounter different kinds of odour. Some bearable and some just repulsive. Some of us Sri Lankans have this bad habit of bathing our selves with colonge eventhough we are sweating like pigs. This adds to the flavour and increases the discomfort and suffering that most of us try to hide just out of sheer politeness.

Unshaven armpits- a critical causal factor of bad body odour. 'lets leave it at that'.

Oh, but the bus takes the cake. Imagine standing with your face buried in a fellow passenger's armpit which is sweaty and dirty after a hot solid day of work. The fight or flight mechanism kicks in, but sometimes there is no apparent escape. All you can do is picture fresh green meadows, with black and white cows grazing in those luscious fields. It is a mixture of garlic, turmeric, curry powder and vinegar all put together out of proportion. You gasp for breath, you drown in the wallows of smelliness.

There is also another category of employees who after a refreshing shower in the morning, literally pours half a deodorant bottle on them selves. Maybe to attract the ladies or vice versa? The flipside of the story is that the effect most often goes 'poof' by mid day.

And...you begin to stink.

Wearing deodorant is only nice but you have to use it wisely. Powder is also another option.

So, all you guys and girls, working or unemployed please, please, please, wear your deodorant, and when you bathe, do pay extra attention to your genitals, and other sweat collecting points of the body, soap em all.

Fresh air is hard to come by these days, very scarce.

So, help save the environment, keep your self clean and smell free.

Cheers.

Issued in Public Interest.

Sponsored by: The employee provident fund, in the interest of their safety and well-being:P

Work Hours

2011-06-21T11:07:00.000-07:00

I report to work at 8.30am and finish work at 4.30pm.

Blessed for a lifetime.

2011-04-26T07:00:00.000-07:00

I wandered alone
into a world unknown,
voids filled with blaring voices,
whispering sweet nothings, in deep crevices.

The voices bizarre, come unwanted
I am haunted, I am taunted,
I am superwoman, I can fly,
but without wings, I fall past the sky.

Empty hallways of acrid stench,
of empty bottles of saline, and withered veins.
I grit my teeth as tremors pass through,
in lonely night of mid-April bloom.

Sultry caws, awaken me
eyes glazed with insanity.
Fingers taut, nails dark yellow,
I, the queen of the night, in sunlit shadow.

A Phoenix Rising up, to love from the ashes vile

2011-04-23T21:44:00.000-07:00

Working with mentally ill people gives you a great deal of food for thought. You begin to notice human behavior minute by minute, hour by hour as there are frequent changes. The conversations you have with them often end up with the listener feeling muddled and it does help to talk to another person to get all the cobwebs cleared. It is with a great feeling of love, empathy and will that one works with such people. The need for them to feel appreciated, loved, wanted is quite apparent in the ways they seek reassurance and praise at most junctures of their little actions.

Love is something we as mental health workers strive to give out at the best of our ability, but with the knowledge that we need to look carefully before we step. The mere need for affection, even with a fake stomachache is yearned for because many of the mentally ill in Sri Lanka lead isolated and often lonely lives and when you look at the niche of the issue, you sometimes feel that 'loneliness' is the only illness they have.

Stigma has become a cliched term in the mental health circles around the world. It is still apparent, it is there haunting the ill, their families and gradually the entire society, who eventually begin to ostracize, categorize and corner those who are ill and suffering. It is like garbage etching its self on all parts of the nation. It reeks of ridicule, disharmony and despair. 'Pissa' 'Angoda Case' are some of the vile terms we hear being used to describe the mentally ill in Sri Lankan society. It is however credible that the Angoda Mental Hospital has been renamed the National Institute of Mental Health, and this could be a step towards battling stigma.

' Machan, pissoda sahanayata enne? ', is a question, an innocent one a friend asked me very recently and I did not quite know how to answer him.

They are beautiful people in their own little ways. They will acknowledge you, smile at you at least most of the time and they also have good values ingrained in them which we sometimes fail to recognize. One beautiful incident that will always stay with me is when I helped a client at Sahanaya who had cut him self on a piece of glass. Humanity at it's best was portrayed here when he shyly approached me a good hour later with something wrapped in a tiny piece of white paper. It was a piece of milk toffee he had bought from the tuck shop, for me...

The clients feel like family now, with their various idiosyncrasies. It is a joyous six hours I spend at Sahanaya five days a week and very few things in life can give me that kind of satisfaction.

" Music heard is sweet, music unheard is even sweeter' John Keats

White Feathers

2011-02-11T10:35:00.001-08:00

Music etches out of the black small boxes
white feathers crawling around me, an insect-
gently swivels away on my thigh, innocent and small.

I feel eroded amongst a crowd-
of tittering young men and women
bizarre evening,
the night not starry
the clouds black and solemn
it gives me an air of strangeness,
of winter that's come early,
thoughts disheveled like old harried snow.

We pseudo-intellectual souls, filled with-
knowledge we gather from the cosmos,
but I wonder, how real is everything.

A world with eery darkness lurking around corners-
eyes filled with despair, look for light
to guide us through the echoing night.

A beautiful maiden in black-
next to my shadow,
who's silhouette, I see-
even though in solitude,
I still admire her finesse
that furnish soft whispers-
in the nearby pergola of dis-sentry.

Longing

2011-02-11T07:56:00.000-08:00

Slender haunting hips,
wavy hair gently caress me,
her eyes set on the path ahead,
I stand back, and stare at her grace.
Blue mists form around her,
invincible, away from the wayside hawks,
she slithers with ease, like a light brown snake
but a gentle one, an occasional soft hiss.
Her smile spreads joy on the sickly streets,
where the mangy mongrels aching with gangrene-
gather, acrid smells and holocaust swells of cosmic smoke.
I walk in a soft trance, eyes tearing with wonder,
the light cobblestone stutter, the temple bells titter,
om, the mystic breathes out soft,
her coming in the hustle and bustle.
I wait and watch, in an almost stupor,
waiting, my heart longing to touch her soul,
to touch her soul,
I long to touch her soul,
to breathe her, to be her, to love her,
I long...

A night I'll remember however hazy it was

2011-01-27T08:04:00.000-08:00

OMG (blonde style), I am so happy today, high on sugar and tea.

I went to transit, in a normal mood state, not high, not low, somewhere in the middle, but when I sat at the table with Nandini, Vaishnavi, Pandey and Amurutho, WOW! It was a whole new start to the evening that was nearly over.

We started singing Beatles songs, all what we knew, at the top of our voices, and then Pandey and I did our rendition of Oh Holy night, and then Nandi and I sang Rudolph the red nosed reindeer, and then we laughed our guts out, for no reason, most of the time. It was fantastic.

Then, came the drawing part. I had three recycled papers (courtesy CSA) with me and also crayons. So out they came, and I began to draw and then followed Pandey with his psychedelic, trippy drawing and Natasha with a scenic picture of mountains, boats, water and at the back of the paper, a girl who looked kind of pissed off! Her eyebrows said it all. She had to make it more abstract by attaching flowers to various parts of the girl's face. Still, a lovely drawing. I drew a beach scene, and then went nuts with different colours and different emotions. It was crazy.

Then we sang again.

Then, we walked down to SG Palya singing at the top of our voices and cracking weird jokes. (culprits: N and N).

Chai Point: Two glasses of dum chai with loads of sugar, thus another sugar rush. WOW!!! FABULOUS!!!!

In conclusion (exam style), I just so totally Love my friends from EPS and PSECO!

I am so happy!!!!

Peace and love and hugs and blueberry cheese cake smiles!!!!

Peace, love and hugs to everyone!

2011-01-15T11:15:00.000-08:00

It was a wonderful night.

2011-01-14T10:45:00.000-08:00

I went to watch a friend and her band play today. Wow! I was moved, the songs were just so beautifully sung, and such talented musicians. Guitars, percussion, harmonica.

It was a wonderful night. That's all I can say.

A shit storm hits the streets of Colpetty

2011-01-07T09:26:00.000-08:00

My heart bent in two,
thumping against each wall
lub-dub, lub-dub, blub-blub,
the thumps get faster and faster, they echo like in the movies.

A state of vertigo clouding my footsteps
I even felt the wall move back, surreal, really.
My head heavy, I walked grudgingly ahead,
a wave of nausea, enveloped my being.

That was today.

Memories of blood, spilled flesh;all red
come striking back, unexpectedly.
A slight groan,a faint pulse;
vivid images, whistle blowing manic fools of front street tarred spectacle of blues.

Wheelbarrows, soft, this time carrying men,
creak under their pudginess.
Wheeled into their destiny, their respective beds,
one looks up, to see his half severed left foot, dangling.

Along came a muse, to shake my shoulders free,
they were bound in corridors of life and death.
I exhaled, the sweat, the nervousness,
their pain, took hold of my world from top to bottom, bottom to top.

White blurry swishes of nurses, saline dripping through a clear white tube,
washing away the grime, the already stale blood, all but red.
White cotton pure cloth winding away around the dangling piece of body part
from the sweatshops of law enforcement, plastered, it holds steady, ready to heal.

A run in with the police!!!

2011-01-06T10:45:00.000-08:00

9.30 pm- Crash! Loud Sound, a moment to react.

A timeless zone- Running towards two men down, shouting orders, checking vitals.

Oh! the men turn out to be policemen. (other policemen flocking around).

Policemen stop Tuk Tuk, try to dump the unconscious one in.
( broken arm, head injury, suspected spinal damage, but breathing). so,NO!

Traffic policemen advised to call for an ambulance through his radio. Futile!

Loss of Faith in Ambulance.

Traffic policemen with whistles and authority advised to stop vehicle, to shift
both law enforcement officers to hospital. Profanity needed to send the
message through.

Futile attempt to stop a Toyota Hi Ace. Man just drives through.

Finally, a lorry/truck.

Back door opened. Conscious casualty shifted. ( Half severed left foot, head
injury).

Unconscious casualty shifted on command with head support (courtesy a helpful
bystander), note- the policemen, flocking around. Turned into recovery position.
The only position possible with the twisted broken arm.

Interesting: A doctor came over to the back of the lorry/truck,( I am a doctor,
the legs should be put like this). Sigh..What Relief!!!

Que: Would you come with us? ( shouting).
Ans: Are you mad? How can I leave my girlfriend and come?( there goes the
dear doctor). Bless his soul.

We finally move on. One policemen, accompanying just for fun!

On the way to accident ward ( Colombo General Hospital), vitals checked,
conscious casualty reassured.

Bleeding of the unconscious casualty controlled with policeman's handkerchief.
What Love!

Arrival. Through the gates, screams for two stretchers. The attendants come,
slow pace, one of them requested to get in to the lorry to help out. The good man
did get in. A army man helped. Shifted both casualties.

One wheeled into resuscitation unit ( sadly don't know what happened to him).

The other wheeled into the general section. ( keeps trying to look up to see the
extent to which his left foot is severed). He is held down.

Nurse advices splinting. Wound washed with saline.

I am chased away.

Time Check- 10.10 pm, back to where it all happened.

Well, that's it. Life returned back to normalcy after a while, but the images still run
fresh in my head.

God, do you exist?

2010-12-12T05:00:00.001-08:00

God, do you really exist?

Jesus, Allah, Buddha, Krishna...

are you really there in people's hearts,

do you really control all what they say you do,

or am I misinterpreting the whole thing?

I have questions, doubts and more,

are they all fragments of my imagination

or do they come from segmented thoughts

all jumbled in a space, they call the mind,

or in my case, the heart.

Social Learning! is god there because of that?

Or is he or she embedded in people's hearts

even when they are floating in ambrosia.

Thousands of people pray, they worship god,

it is surely a humble experience.

But there is also the mindless bloodshed, bloody sacrifice,

and the horrendous bombings, all to 'appease' the gods, some say.

This is what taunts me, nags at me,

day in and day out.

Belief is a choice, or a compulsion for mankind,

but how far is that belief justified?

I am tormented by these thoughts,

the answer, well it plays hide and seek.

Will I ever know?

Will all this ever make sense to me?

I wonder out loud each day,whether I'd run out of time, and never know...

Set Dhosa, Queen and lumberjack rantings.

2010-12-03T09:33:00.000-08:00

I was sitting in Sri Raghavendra Cafe, and having a hot milk coffee and set dhosa for dinner. I was listening to Queen the whole time, and it was strangely a very soothing companion for those few minutes that I was eating. There was a vegetarian mix curry and coconut chutney, which I devoured. It is quite fascinating how good music makes even the most routine task like eating, a pleasurable one.

I was walking back, breathing in the cool night air, looking at the rather cloudy sky, feeling the cool wind brush against my skin, the music lulling me, to a hazy state.

I entered through the grilled gates, to the place I now call home, which again will be only for another 5 months and then out I venture again. I was still listening to music.

I unlocked my door, I was still listening to music...

I entered, removed my wallet and phone from my pocket, I was yet listening to music...

Here, I sat in front of my computer, again, music in my ears...Don Mclean this time.

Wherever I go, there is music. My soul replenishes it self, my body finds energy in the music I listen to, it is embodied in my mind. My father played the guitar and sang for me when I was floating in amniotic fluid, and thereafter, a major part of my life, it was all music.

Music... It lives in me, it nurtures me.

A Beckoning Call

2010-12-02T08:59:00.000-08:00

A child, I lay

In waters warm,

the outside world,

feeling small.

Two beautiful souls,

with love they pledge,

a secret long gone,

a mystery, it’ll remain.

Red sparking water;

splashing around me,

as I am yanked out,

realms of destiny.

A daughter of lies,

a child of sorrow,

in a brown coir sack

knot tied, I am thrown,

into rivers of doom,

floating, drowning and swirling,

I land up on a distant shore,

yearning for love, a warm close hug,

a mother, to say ‘Amma’ to.

High stone-faced walls of dread,

grilled gates of unacceptance,

pulling me back, from my little world,

now they bring only chocolates, ‘eat my little girl’.

They don’t want to play, no touch, no saying,

a simple hello, or an I love you,

I am left to wither and wallow.

I am a child, a girl, a daughter, of mother HIV.

Well Hello!!!

2010-11-14T09:47:00.000-08:00

I am getting off the blog scene for a little while, so till I come back, Adios! Hasta Luego!

On a bus

2010-10-09T06:17:00.000-07:00

The wheels,of the green bus
spin, spin, turn and turn
as it rolls and rolls towards
unearthed plots of decadent desire.

Yellow bars for holding
the wild boys, their underarm hair
bristles in the humid breeze
sweet aromas,perfumed lakes of sanity.

We zoom past white fences and barracks

my next door seat man,

in blue jeans, eyes the street outside,

with thoughts, I'll never know.

A blockade, like the ships in the East Coast,

the wild bus boys, murmur,

uncomprehending catches of fleeting conversations

drift out the window, unheard.

Junctures of grey dusty road

etches a journey on it's own

we roll, tumble in our pseudo concerned souls,

the bus roars on, furious and naked unknown.

I fenced my hole

2010-10-02T10:27:00.000-07:00

I crossed the streets,

in dire need,

of wire and spanners,

to fence my hole.

In naked fever,

shivering under taut skin,

the cars driving by,

felt not a singe one, I.

I fenced my hole,

my fingers bled, dirty black blood,

the rusty wire, cracking my soul.

I pulled,bent, tied, the wire to the pole.

Don't.

2010-09-27T10:19:00.000-07:00

If you come near me,

I will eat you,

parts of you,

raw, uncooked

like a savage,

like a cannibal

So, don't you come near me,

stay far, far away,

beyond the front lines,

of terror, just lie, unknown to me.

I won't miss you-

or remember you

or worry about you

you don't exist.

Some of my favourite pictures taken in Norway 2009/10

2010-09-25T21:29:00.000-07:00

60-70-2010

2010-09-11T23:02:00.000-07:00

O arahat,

in your serene place

the Ganges flow

like a hazy lake

illustrious bodies, white shrouded

they sink and float, in worlds of slumber

the mystique and the whore,

sit cross legged, pricking their toes,

pubic hair in ripples, they swear,

crusted rectum, in midnight soil

the opium pipe, shining bright.

O arahat, O thou divine,

thy self, like wisps of monsoon rain,

pouring red hot smoke,

down alleys of dawn, Grey,

shadows of mice, they wiggle,
the cripple, who walks the night, dribbles

O arahat! O madman of now,

lie on a sheet of plastic metal.

Why I cycle...

2010-09-08T09:39:00.000-07:00

The cold, morning breeze

makes me tingle.

The bumpy roads, with many a hump,

makes my bicycle jingle.

The uphill climb, every morn I try,

my thighs ask forgiveness.

When I sail downhill, at last

sigh... it's relief, my dearest.

Disjointed Ramblings down JNC layout

2010-08-28T09:45:00.000-07:00

KA 02 C20 95,

an automated three wheeler passes me,

in a people filled,juice street,

general hullabaloo everywhere.

Slushy puddles

after a refreshing shower,a white car;

splashing the sullen brown juice,

on passerby street walkers,

jay walkers and wanderers,

their trouser folds wet,

with the blessings of the rain goddess.

Illuminated sign boards

of desolate corner shops selling

the what not's of our splendid lives,

the helium lights flashing,plunging

through my visionary cortex,

'ting' I feel the business like nature

of our mindful world.

The eloquent honking of the impatient four wheeled machines,

shuns my quiet aside,

two legged creatures float by,

without a care in the world,by night.

The Romans conquered,the Greeks thought,

the world shone,in hazy colours.

The red light districts, the bumbling plazas,

darken all misty hearts.

It's late now,in the lighted front

of the 'Mughalai Khana' shop,

sitting on a tiny white stool,

my thoughts disheveled,

I cry for harmony,

between body and soul.

Flower girl

2010-08-19T09:27:00.001-07:00

Flower girl, flower girl
where are you?
Give me your basket
of red, yellow and blue.

Your hair worn tight,
hips swinging to the side,
you wave coyly,
smiling,as you walk by.

One pence, two pence,
your flowers,fly by,
happy smiling faces,
without a cry.

Rainbows of spring,
the sweet aromas many,
the rose petals strewn around,
the town so pretty.

Young un's and girls,
swing by,hand in hand,
you invite them,
to smell your flowers,grand.

The flower girl of tinsel town,
buxom and round,
flowers in her hair,
and flowers all around.

A hard day of work,
your shoulders rough and dry,
let the flowers go with you,
your palms soft and nigh.

The night skies loom,
the moon shines bright,
flower girl, flower girl,
go to sleep in peace, sigh.

The art of hot milk

2010-07-10T07:31:00.000-07:00

I came home after getting soaked in the rain,in Cubbon park,but it was worth it. I took off my clothes,which were now stuck to my body, and had a nice long,bath (aadigudus). I put some hot water to boil and took out my Anchor milk powder( Sri Lankan),put two spoons in my cup,and 5 teaspoons of sugar and mixed it.

Now,I waited till the water came to it's boiling point, when it was angry, hot and bubbling. And, 'tack'. the switch went down, and it was done.

I took down the kettle from it's pedestal, and poured some water into my cup. Ah, the creamy white image that formed, delightful.

I mixed , mixed and mixed. The white beauty swirling inside the cup, around and around,waiting to be calmed by the ceasing of my hand operating the spoon.

I stopped, took it to the computer table,and took my first exhilarating sip of warm, sweet creamy milk. Ah, the warm waves flowing through my body,with each sip,it became such a beautiful experience.

I sipped, drank, swirled it in my mouth,and swallowed. Ah the solemn goodness, of a warm cup of milk.

I loved every sip,every molecule of liquid, of that fresh, white foamy milk.

Fantastic!!!

The lack of sound sleep...

2010-07-08T10:00:00.000-07:00

I feel like shit in class sometimes,when I stay up late to study,or to do nothing.

My head feels heavy,and palms sweaty,well not exactly,its just that it rhymes with heavy.
I can't walk straight,my shoulders slump.
I swear at everyone and fuss about everything,though it is not visible all the time.

I especially hate hypocrites and idiots who try to annoy me,when I am sleepy.

I wait to hit the sack,earlier the better,thought it almost never happens.

I have become conditioned,do not know whether it is operant or classical,but leave that to Pavlov,to not feel tired,and to carry on as normal,no matter how slow and drowsy I am. Ah the irony.

I get annoyed when I have to sit on uncomfortable chairs that make my bum hurt,especially when I am sleepy.

I don't think coffee is a good option either,though I endorse it sometimes.

So,all this I typed down,just for the fun of it. I had nothing to do online,and I know it looks really stupid,to be just stuck on the computer,and not having anything to do and type up stupid shit on my blog.But, its true. At least,its true. Sleep is so valuable,so precious, so needed, yet so far away,hidden in the mists of the Himalayas or whatever shit the other mountains are called. Extremely cynical eh?.

A university student,a teacher,a policeman,a doctor,....Hello!! we all need sleep,and 8 hours is not enough.It's all bull!!!!

There! My streak of unproductive blogging is over.I am off to bed soon I think!!!

good night.sweet dreams.and sleep well. but, I have to wake up early.sigh...

What all we have to go through!!I will never have enough of cribbing. Balls to the rest of the world. I am going to sleep.

An announcement, in the wee hours

2010-07-05T04:48:00.000-07:00

Hello! Well, the BJP had announced that they are going to have a bandh aka strike aka hartal today, in most parts of India,and the newspapers reported that there was not to be any form of public transport which included auto rickshaws,because they have also become just like any other 'bus'. Let us not diverge.

One of the most known universities in India, had to wait till 8.30am to announce that the university will function as normal. Students were confused, some elated because of SMS's that charged through the networks saying that a certain teacher disliked by many said that today is a holiday. I got several messages quoting his name and I my self was really happy,at least temporarily. So,I woke up, today not knowing whether to go to university or not, and just so you know,I had practicals the first two hours,and that made me edgy. I knew,I cannot take chances in missing this class,so I poured two buckets of water on my body, hurriedly gulped down some milk and two bananas and I raced off, on my bicycle and entered the pristine holy gates of an institution which is revered, praised and is exalted in it's name.

The story gets more interesting. I parked my bicycle, and went towards my block. It was empty,locked and bound just like a prison in the wee hours of the day. Not a soul, was to be seen. It was peaceful and quiet, for once. I saw two of my classmates and then it slowly became four ,and then eight and finally I think, it was ten. There were bus's on the road, and what joy, those men behind the confession chambers announced,it was a normal working day. Many students did not come,because of all the confusion and the genuine lack of transport. Some teachers also had a great deal to say about it. Some teachers took attendance,and then we were free to go home. Now, just in case,out of sheer luck,if this very prestigious institution of learning and discourse decides to count in the attendance that was taken today, sigh,what of the ,many students who could not make it today? Lets leave the question unanswered, at least for now.

A website, this serene place of learning has,full of highly valued and important information,about teachers being awarded their PHD, 'rules and regulations', valuable information for international students, 'certificate' courses and all that 'jazz' like someone said. But,this dear website,which is designed mainly for the convenience of the students, 'apparently',was not touched by loving hands,to imprint the message, the message from the divine, there was no divine intervention,to say that, 'Dear Students, tomorrow is a working day'.So,everyone must skip their breakfast,not brush their teeth,after all these are important day to day practices we learn right from our school days,and of course not to mention from an education system where we 'learn' about morals,justice,values,interpersonal skills etc and they must run to university,just to come to the point of realization that,oh! I should have stayed at home and done something more useful.

Well, I have a packet of Banana chips my roommate brought for me,from a place, where he calls home. I am pondering on whether to eat it now or save it for another day, where I might just have to cycle to university and do an about turn,just like they do in the army,and come back home. The packet is just, right here by the way. All yellow and round,well, not exactly.

In class

2010-07-03T10:38:00.000-07:00

Swirling of tea,

in a white, clay cup,

aromas of spring,

arouse me.

The trees wave to me,

while I sit in silent discourse,

the king coconuts they bare,

in silent dignity.

My mind, twirled,

slow,after a long day,

thoughts little, feelings blurred,

I, sit drowsy, eyes droopy,and blank

How cosy is it to sleep in a toilet?

2010-05-26T08:44:00.000-07:00

We were out on a climbing/camping trip yesterday,and some of us climbed a very steep,slippery mountain using ropes and hooks, which ended up being extremely physically challenging,at least for me,mentally too. I started out with not much difficulty, and then the rain came,made everything slushy and slippery. Some rocks were just impossible to set foot on without slipping. I was hooked on securely but still I had that unexplained fear, of falling. I struggled a great deal and finally reached a stage,where it was just not possible to climb anymore,because I had used up so much of muscle and strength. One of the teachers had to hook me up onto his safety hook and pull me up the last tiny bit. I felt proud of my self too,because I managed something I had never done before. I was happy, though I wish I could have done better.

Anyway, we went back to the camping area,and it was quite cold. So,some of my friends started a fire,and I changed my socks,which helped a great deal to reduce the coldness. We had some food,bread with chocolate spread to be specific and orange juice.It was heavenly. More people started coming,and we began to play hide and seek,which was fun,but did not last for long. Some of us started putting up the tents,but I got distracted in the middle of it and took off to sing cheesy songs with a bunch of friends,near the fire. It was fun. We grilled sausages on barbecue sticks made out of dry twigs we found. It was so cosy to sit by the fire,eat hot-dogs,drink coffee while the smoke got in your eyes. Ketchup and mustard sauce added to the flavour. It was really nice to be with everyone and have fun.

Now came the spicy part of the story. It was cold like I mentioned before,and tents were put up outside,for us to sleep under. But,some of us,heard from some others that they were planning on sleeping in the bathroom. It sounded extremely inviting. So,Jostein and I, we decided to barge in. We took our sleeping bags and ground mats and in we went,to find lots of space under the wash basins.So, we laid our sleeping bags there,and did the before sleeping things we as good boy's are supposed to do,and wasn't it just magnificent to sleep there? It was so warm, cosy with Bente joining us later. Of course people went in and out as it was the toilet,but it didn't bother us too much. We slept on. It was so comfortable,warm and I 'd now recommend the bathroom as one of the best places to sleep in.It was a wonderful experience.

Today, we woke up at around 8.30am and brushed our teeth,did our routine toilet jobs,and then went on board a very old sail boat,which now has a motor, and I would like to say sailed away,but I have to say motored away again,back to where we came from.

A Moment not lost

2010-05-24T04:57:00.000-07:00

A glance at her,
in distant light,
by the river of delight
I stood,
waiting in wonder,
her smile,innocent
a soft sigh.
Lapsing breathing,
my senses disturbed
by the simple beauty
of a rock amidst
the silky sand,the sunlitshells.
Her hair wavy,golden brown
eyes soft and warm
my heart heavy,in trembling beats,
she smiled at the little hen,calm.
The rays of beauty, the songs of love,
shine on the water,even at dawn,
the sun sparkling,a rainbow haunting,
above in the distant clouds.

2010-05-20T02:29:00.001-07:00

The silver shadows,
of a moon so pretty
lies in waters, still
echoes heard,dark mists.

On a pier,I lie
eying the stars
the river, lulling me
into a soft,dreary daze.

Music in my soul,dizzy
guitars strummed,songs hummed,
I met a stranger, mysterious
who makes me delirious.

My heart mumbles softly
each night,before dawn
goodnight,my sweet friend,
and today is not the end.

Whispers

2010-05-08T12:11:00.000-07:00

Psalms sweaty after ecstacy
mangy filthy dogs barking their brains out
in mists of haziness,swirling aimless
brown hallowed priests
whispering behind bars of sadness
melting in the pubic heat of dispair
summer night,electric sky of gangrene darkness
angels fly in homophobic circles
weary shadows in grasses green
wet feet,water trickling down
like springs of white shrouded powder
the fat cheeked altar boys sniffing through the air
grilled confession chambers being witness
to hightened states of hand jerking action
solitary moments, squeezing of innocent cheeks
priestly words of sex starved maniacs of the delightful streets of rome
cuddling in a rare moment of pleasure,
My son, pray to god
for you have sinned.

A dangling conversation.

2010-04-21T00:06:00.000-07:00

I spoke to a lilly today,
asking her what she thought warmth was?

She gave me an imaginary hug.

That was love,
like the grass caressing the green meadows,
the rain coming down in tiny drops,
curtains of silver,
embracing me, smothering me,
with delight
the clouds grey don't bother me,

I fumble for words
to say good-bye
soul trembling,in the realm of spring.
My whole world still, I lay,
searching for comfort
like a newborn near her mother's breast,
I cry for comfort;the lilly let's me go.

I run free,
tripping on my shoe laces,
tears gripping inside,
it's time.

Dear Blue

2010-04-20T02:44:00.001-07:00

Dear blue,

I'll tell you what I feel,

the orange mellow sun splashes it's rays,

distant white mountains haunt me

in wide spectrum of grey tunnel-vision.

I dream of loving hands,followed by a giant heart,

touching me,

though they know me just a tiny bit.

Oh!love is easy,blue.

You give me more to live for,yearn for and to dream for.

You never cease to carry me,

into unknown worlds

to dive with me,

to paradise waters.

I never want you to go away,I want you to stay;

blue,so I can speak to the stars in gentle whispers,

to the humming birds in distinct silence

and to you only with love.

Perfect colour schemes,orange and green maybe,

but blue,you bring me joy in ways,like no other colour alive.

Leave me not,blue-stay!

Let me love you.

Life is a slow train, crawling up a hill

2010-04-16T12:48:00.000-07:00

Life is a slow train, crawling up a hill, sang Katie Melua.

It is a wait,a long, hard wait.

You are born,gasping for breath, then crying your guts out. It is a slow wait till you reach adolescence, and then its even more frustrating having to wait to be accepted as an adult,to be understood and not to be misread.

Now,it is an impatient period, waiting to be grown up,to be independent. It is all waiting.

Life seems like, it is only about filling some missing blanks,while getting withered with every blank filled.

You fill in the blanks and then it is only a matter of illusionary time,before you are invited six feet under.

So,the question lies,what do we make of our lives?

Do we just continue to fill in the missing squares in the puzzle or do we stop and think? Do we look into ourselves?

However rhetorical these questions maybe, how long does it take before it is time? It sure beats me.

It is merely a wait,you enjoy a magnificent illusion and then thats it!. You are done.

A seal show.

2010-04-14T14:16:00.000-07:00

I went to the aquarium today,and saw a seal show!!!I thought they were extremely intelligent, and the effect of reward after a correct action was so evident. It als showed how much animals are close to humans in the way they think.

It's a shame that some people hunt them.

Still

2010-04-11T14:31:00.000-07:00

There is a snow covered mountain far away,
but it's a deep blue fjord in front of me,
the sun cleansing ill forgotten souls,
showering light in little glades everywhere
the cold wind still stings,but the warmth
soothes the discomfort.
Little white dots on the water
churning the still waters,into creamy white
ripples of spring,the shores lull themselves
to sleep, while the icy cold water
inches it's way through the
tiny coves,in isles so soft and sheen.
Heart and mind is at rest,pulse slow,
blood streaming gently,the soul is put at rest.
Birds chatter around me,
men and women talk around me,
the wind whistles it's name,
I listen and I sway.

Slam dunk in Egerøya.

2010-03-31T07:09:00.000-07:00

Slam dunked my entire body into +2 cold water in a lake here in Egersund.It was a beautiful experience but very cold. There were huge ice cubes just like in a fridge,which I have not seen in a water body before. It was a in and out thing,just went in, dunked my whole body in and ran back out. It was also quite cool,how fast we warmed up after that. That was a very Norwegian thing to do.

Also, Karl Johan's uncle took us out on a motor boat trip out to sea. It was lovely,pretty big waves, bouncing us about. We had lifevests on though. It was a nice trip. It felt just like home.

It's holiday time

2010-03-29T14:43:00.000-07:00

Its funny how I have loved everyplace I have been in during holidays in Norway. Elverum had it's own charm and it was a quiet little place with beautiful nature. The trees lovley in the late days of Autumn, the flowers so pretty and the water in front of Alfred's house inviting. It was cold then and its cold now,but it's still delightful. Random hugs, a few beers here and there.great movies and a nice mother who made delicious lasangna and chocolate cake. It was indeed a lovely holiday. Oslo was also an experience with Alfred's father and his apartment. I still remember the pure sound of his Gibson guitars and the cluttered atmosphere of a talented artist's house. It was nice to joke around and talk to him and his Risotto was fantastic.

Inderøya on it's own was also very warm and comforting to celebrate christmas. Anders and his loving dog Teo made my few days before christmas so nice. It was nice to have the doggy sleep in my bed so I could cuddle him. I took him for a walk and it was funny to watch him fight with Ubaldo's dog,or at least his family's dog. He was a cute little fellow.Anders's Reindeer dish was delicious and we watched some movies together and he took me on the Golden route to see the farm houses. Det var jo spennende. Adolphe,Sigri,Bahoue,Michael and Louise were also kind to me and I did have a good time there,playing cards,eating chocolate and going for walks.

Frøya!!! It ranks top on the list so far. My mom in Norway resides in this beautiful,scenic Island called Frøya,3 hours by boat from Trondhiem. She is not going to be too happy reading this,if she ever does,because the word mom does not digest well with her.But she is a Mommy!!! She is 24 and studies psychology and wants to shift to physiotherapy soon. It was a lovely time in Frøya, with her family. I went fishing with my mom,her boyfriend,on his company boat and caught six fish. It was exciting. We also went sightseeing a bit,and learning to ski with momma and Stine was also fun. I fell on my butt many times but it was fun learning it. She was there all along. Kayaking was also something I will always remember about Frøya. She was there again,this time taking the role of the rescue diver,but I managed fine. It was cool kayaking in the little bay in front of her house. Other than that,the random conversations,the fish and the other delicious chow, the numerous movies, Yatsy,and all the love,I will never forget it. It was a fantastic holiday.

And...now,I am in Egersund,near Stavanger with a dear friend,Karl Johan. He is a miljø freak as Katarina put it. A nice, caring guy with a big heart. This is a stunning place with water everywhere,lots of greenery and it feels like being in Nuwaraeliya in Sri Lanka. We visited Katarina yesterday,grilled hot dogs in a park,drank hot chocolate at her home and just lazed around. Another good friend. It's back to Katarina tomorrow.

Train to Egersund

2010-03-27T10:04:00.000-07:00

I am on a train,
on my way to happiness,
beautiful rivers and gardens of amber,
they await,for me.

Chambers of blind stillness,
chords of timber,in motion,
I look for mystery,
even in the bark of a tree.

Mystique mists,wallowing
in the early morn,spring of change,
drops of dew, drip down my spine,
sending shivers almost orgasmic.

I want nothingness, to dwell.
to see the little stream, twinkle,
the stars and the mighty sun shimmer,
oh,momentary sweetness.

The humble brown soil,
carries the willowy tree,
it waves it's hallowed arms,
embracing me,in wilderness still.

The Blind Side

2010-03-24T15:06:00.001-07:00

I watched 'The Blind Side' today and I think Sandra Bullock did quite a good job in the film. The concept was also very sweet and touching,not so rational all the time,but irrational is also good sometimes. Love was portrayed in a very nice way not forgetting the harsh reality of life.

I do not think it deserved all those Oscars though.

MIchelle

2010-03-01T23:48:00.000-08:00

Drifting down,a windy path,

cobblestone near the city bath,

rustling of the snow flaked leaves,

Michelle,she smiles.

Narrowing around,a starlit street,

the moon,she sings a song discreet,

the apples give,without greed

Michelle, she sighs.

Songs were sung,strings were touched,

when we came to be,

the world above, shone for us,

Michelle,she ran in glee.

A fairy tale.

2010-03-01T23:34:00.000-08:00

The pixies were munching on cookies and talking to the goblins nearby, in a summer forest with shady glades,thorns of grass lulling themselves to sleep. A blackbird singing dusky tunes flies by,awakening the world, shedding light on the pixies and the goblins.

A girl with a cane basket filled with fresh cranberries hops and claps inviting the forest folk to dance with her. It is a merry old time, today in the forest of before death. The girl, her golden hair in locks,danced and pranced around,careful not to harm the cuddly frog,and the sweet caterpillar. She loved everyone and everything and the goblins with their stout noses loved her too. She sang lilting tunes, lovely notes swirling through the cheery trees.

The gypsies, bandits and the out-castes heard it too, and danced to it with the pixes and the other forest folk,some even up high in the trees. The pretty little girl, with her teeth crooked,and leaning forward loved them all. She smiled to erase their pain, they cast away their woes. The sky was bright shimmering blue, and the entire forest shone in light, and the trees, bushes and even the blades of grass skipped and hopped to her merry little tunes.

Meanwhile, the squirrels up on the branches of Mr. Woody woody, and the dashing mermaids of the nearby creek, sang and tried to tell the other animals about the song of the trees, rivers and the clouds. Music was in the girl's soul, running through her entire being, gushing with joy, sparkling eyes, and love finds its way. Love,like the leaves love their mother, the tree, and the waves love their mother, the sea.

The forest of before death rang its lusty bells and invited folk from all the other forests to gather around and make merry. The pixies and the goblins never had a better day.

A break

2010-02-19T12:49:00.000-08:00

Hi. I am taking a break from blogging for a while. I can't find the inspiration I need to write. I am planning on going to this isolated cove I found the other day,hope it feeds me with life.

I will be back soon.

Cheers

Beating about in Straumen

2009-12-22T13:34:00.000-08:00

The weeks have been dreary, cold winds blowing my lips dry, my stomach lining edging it self in, the cold making the fat go away.

All the little children packing to go home, to tinsel town factories with bright light starvation of sex.

Cold, dreadful mists floating by the grey sea,the snow white mountains longing for love, covered in moss,the mist makes way.

Psychedelic lights flicker and dance to the tunes of yage,brain freeze, coma, seeing visions of virgin mary naked angels bloodymary.

Hard pounding,waste baskets full of empty syringes that have been plunged deep down into unknowing souls, earlier in the day.Toxic screaming, whores running dry the lucid walls of terror,acidic foam stinking of acids sulphuric and chloride, the moneybelts of sultry pimps clinging on to the heavens stark above, while the fakir pricks his buttocks with a screwdriver, moaning harmless mantras while the little leper screams in pain so great, his cock half bent, mouthsagging, droopy eye lids, cocaine floating down his veins:he begs the good lord to put an end to his paedophilic misventures with his leaking scrotum hanging still.

Merry christmas

2009-12-18T05:41:00.000-08:00

Ah!its Christmas, -13 temperature, a nice thick blanket and a lovely black dog of five breeds to cuddle. I am in Straumen, a lovely little tinsel town with kind folk and beautiful waters. Its a cosy little house, with two rooms and a nice hall. Its so good to relax after a while and do nothing at all and ofcourse to be away from everything for some time. The aroma of christmas, floating in the air with the smell of tasty chow complementing it. I am waiting to meet my friend from Guatemala and off we go to the little pub to eat pizza and chat in a mix of norwegian,english, pizza and spanish. It should be fun. The jule lights are not very strong yet, but the white dashes of snow everywhere and the tinkling sound of the music statue makes up for it. Its beautiful here, but murky and dark.

I just finished a very late breakfast of mild chilly sausage, bread, pita bread and ham.I then had some chocolate with Daime for dessert and of course the dog had to go for it afterwards. He climbed onto my table,took the whole chocolate came back to the hall,and then anyway I took it from him. He seems a sweet little fellow.

Cheers to a white christmas with holly, ice and pepperkake, so nice.

Merry christmas everyone!!!

2009-12-14T04:57:00.000-08:00

I wander
into fairy lands
the snow softly melts
trees swirl in twinkling glee
the branches stark and Grey
gingerbread houses
candlelit suppers
the waters slowly pass
a lone, sweet child
softly cries
a mother to hug she wants

2009-12-14T04:55:00.000-08:00

A bluebird whistles,
a merry old tune
heard in lands afar
where elves and goblins
dig in alleys
black mantras float around.
The bluebird's tune
softens the air
where black mists slowly die
white and Grey snow
thin like bones
children weep and cry.

Its Christmas.

2009-12-06T23:49:00.000-08:00

It's Christmas.
the Jule lights flicker,
on the highlands of Straumen,
its Christmas.

Young and old, busy
drawing sweet little Santa's
while the hustle and bustle
goes on, its Christmas.

I sit,and wonder
the lights prodding from afar,
will Santa come this year?
Its Christmas.

Pepperkake and gløgg to drink,
a present till the twenty-fourth day,
a child lies shivering,with no sweets,
Its Christmas.

You better not shout,
the baby can't cry,
its throat frozen, Santa sighs,
its Christmas.

No candy this year,
Rudolph's wings shattered,
Mama says, 'Oh honey'
Its Christmas.

2009-12-06T23:46:00.000-08:00

Running along mine fields,
hopping over little blobs
on the ground,
one slip, and thats it.

His heart thumping,
in dread, he scrambles
slinging his gun
safety catch yearning for release.

A little girl,
her cheeks so soft
skips and hops,over the candy,
stuck to the ground.

Boom! Scatter! Splat!
a leg here, her head there,
pieces of candy,stuck everywhere,
little did she know,the candy was never there.

Death and the scarecrow

2009-12-06T23:40:00.000-08:00

Ignorant bliss,
flooding the tingling light
of fake titter
the cuckoo may sing,
death howl will still
be heard,in the dark sky
howling and shrieking
without unnatural banter
sly eyes and putrid mind.
The call of death, curious
like a mastermind,
solving the puzzle of the
missing scarecrow,
devious questions
summoning the unsuspecting tongue
to waggle out replies, genuine
but stored in a memory box
with meaningless tissue floating around.
A drained self,
fairytale life
like snow white
who ate the apple,
but had no clue,
that it was poisoned.
She got a gift,
a kiss,
all death is getting
is more vanity,hunger for sodomy,
and envy than before.

for climate change

2009-11-24T11:19:00.000-08:00

A lonely river
tenement of skull
passing by in drains of hysteria
stinking fish heads floating.

Clouds of turbid silence
Grey spectrum edging
closer to mother earth
toxins burning with rage.

Men, coarse and still
slow the ebb of change
smoke rises in cosmic swells
sheltering the dead trees.

Mists, black and Grey
flow in hastened pace
streams of rotten corpses
liver, heart, mangled brain.

2009-11-24T11:16:00.000-08:00

The waves calmly slip in,
withered in solitary bliss,
the softness of the sand
lets them in.

I hear,the noise
the grinding of little pebbles
fighting to rewind
while being swept away

Sun sinking down
into dungeons unknown
watery catacombs weaving
in and out, out and in.

Behold, darkness sublime
a lampshade of quietness
seeping like urine
out of a tired catheter

I am engulfed
in rivers of moonlight
their flow malignant
like a charred scrotum.

For Me

2009-10-29T00:55:00.000-07:00

A silver moon shines

in the distant sky

for me

Sultry notes of steel strings

clash in melody

for me

A hastened good-bye

without reason

for me

Lost in thought

hurt fills my heart

for me

Now,tears not spilt

await,

for me.

Autumn leaves

2009-10-19T09:03:00.001-07:00

It is getting colder by the day,

Autumn is leaving me,

deserted, in the chill

of the distant waters.

I huddle with everything I've got

to be warm, to be loved

winter arouses speculation

what will be it like?

2009-10-02T00:05:00.001-07:00

A white shawl,

tired face

she retires

2009-10-02T00:04:00.004-07:00

Christmas already

songs waving at me

my white sock, black

2009-10-02T00:04:00.003-07:00

A hug she gives

bidding fare thee well

the lonely bird flies by.

2009-10-02T00:04:00.001-07:00

The maiden runs

spirits so high

a twist to the tale.

2009-10-02T00:03:00.002-07:00

Tylsin sleeps tight

a call comes in,

then silence.

2009-10-02T00:03:00.001-07:00

Piano rumbles on,

fingers reaching

a bracelet so tight

Cross Over

2009-09-20T03:57:00.000-07:00

The window half open

ripples of ocean water

protrude between

the lush green mountains

clinging to my soul

inviting me with love

to cross over, leap across

the named path for me

to traverse ahead, my feet

nimble,touching icy water

reaching out in silence

to touch,feel and laugh with

the mountain people

hoarse,strong but devoid

of hate, they will guide me,

shelter me

till I am called back

to reality.

I was just day dreaming

with sultry notes on all sides

drawing me an inch closer

to peace

to strength

to life.

2009-09-20T03:56:00.002-07:00

A brown sock

my feet warm

the pig grunts,in winter.

2009-09-20T03:56:00.001-07:00

chirrups,the woodpecker

to rainbows coming

with spring.

2009-09-20T03:55:00.000-07:00

My book closed

the last chapter

read,not heard.

2009-09-20T03:54:00.000-07:00

The saxophone weeps

in a blue summer night

she sighs,with the stars

Left Over

2009-09-19T03:35:00.001-07:00

Parting,

noiseless,the leaves falling,

hidden love like a kite flying

fighting the quelling winds

soaring high, towards the patchy clouds

tears dropping like snowflakes

slithering off a cliff

heart heavy with wooden scaffolding

holding on without crying

then letting go all my misery

in a tiny, bespectacled tear

it all floats, trying to heal bleeding

the sun will still shine,

the breeze will pass by

and moon shall shine bright.

Mountains blue,valleys grey

2009-09-10T08:55:00.000-07:00

A cloudy sky-radiant light

solitary dreams floating

by the banks of dreary eyed,stone faced

rivers divine.

They float with the august rush,down rapids,

into ravines, where the raven caws

and the chirrup of the thrush I hear,so docile.

Mountain tops, with little green people

swaying this way and that

lonely valleys, the barren summer nights

my thoughts furnished by the ocean

they soar up, the misty moonlight.

A hispanic lovely

2009-09-06T14:17:00.000-07:00

A lovely girl nearby

In summer she shines

her shawl,black and red.

Imagine, there is no love?

2009-09-05T04:29:00.000-07:00

I am the entertainer,so free and filled with love,joy sparkling from within me-radiant and vibrant.I am insane in a postitive way,but I dont have any issues with any form of insanity. It is the human spirit that matters,not sanity. An entertainer is a societal being,but he or she does not necessarily have to follow societal norms or values.

An entertainer is a creator, an artist, maybe a bit insane, everyone is. This is what makes life beautiful, so enriching. Thats where love sparkles, glows and then traverses into hearts of many. A musician, an artist, a poet, a dancer, all are passionate, they explore their inner beings, they look at life in unconventional ways.

An entertainer knows respect, knows humility, they all know love.

Music spreads humaneness, joy and most importantly love. Art may spread universal understanding and universal love. Love plays a prominant role in all art forms. A poet just gives his thoughts a twist,or just puts them through very raw. Sculpture is an expression of one's thoughts and emotions. They express their hurt, their anger, suffering through art. It helps soothe wounded hearts,even though its temporary.

The world would be dark without love.

2009-09-05T04:13:00.000-07:00

Wheels turning

around and around

me,in motion

traversing down pathways of

surreal beauty

a lone crow,flutters by.

2009-08-31T05:52:00.000-07:00

Terracota pergolas

help me climb up

blind,grasping at the waist

breeze softly guiding

the leaves and vines

like motherly love

embrace me,lift my

spirits intoxicating me

into a higher being,

the heat of coldness

has gone away

leaving me soft

and lofty like

an apple tree,

casting shadows in the valleys

beneath,so vile.

2009-08-31T05:51:00.000-07:00

A banana ripens,

in the shady glades below,

in spring,water glistening.

Here begins,my experimentation with Japanese Haiku.

Seas of the Universe

2009-08-31T02:14:00.000-07:00

Thorny cactus staring behind a dark window,

looking out to horizons far away,dwelling

with rustling leaves,the tiny drops

of innocent rain

Lights existing

across the universe

like Harlem, where

people gather.

Cactus is still living inside,

cared for;the sweet smelling flowers

in the open,carefree,in peace

stupefied by the howling wind,

caressed by salty waters and

touched by hearts so many.

bloom with joy and grow

into gentle giants of

red green yellow and blue.

My journey from Bangalore to Oslo, Oslo to Frederikstad, Frederikstad to Throndheim and Throndheim to Inderoy.

2009-08-30T00:22:00.002-07:00

To sum up the Fredskorpset preparatory course,well,it has helped me relfect a great deal,to be more aware of my self and of my surroundings.The course leader,Peter was fabulous. He had so much knowledge to pass on and the support we recieved from him,well I'll leave it that. Frederikstad is such a beautiful town,old wooden houses,Norway's largest river flowing by,ducks and pigeons,bread,cheese,potatos and meat,and ofcourse, blessed o'l me,who made friends with such wonderful people. I felt so accepted and felt like one among the Norwegians and the others there. It was also a blur,the entire week because I lost out on sleep and also the mental strain of adjusting and fitting in, took alot out of me,But it was all worth it.The beach volleyball toureny,singing with Ingrid,Julie and Jostein,Ah!enchanting. The farewell party,we made payasam for the rest of the crowd and they all liked it,the Nepalese made spicy tomato chutney,delicious. Hindi and Sri Lankan dance music,the banana dance,balls to you-balls to me etc.The theme,Swine flu.

We left frederikstad by train to Oslo and then, there we met Therese at the bus station.We chit chatted for a while,and she was extremely lovely to be with. On the bus,a double dekker,got four seats to my self,and I fell into a deep stupour only to be woken up by Ingrid,the bus had broked down,shame because it had wireless internet on it. We got onto another bus and off we went,and throndheim we reached. Elle mari met us at the bus station at Throndhiem and it was lovely seeing her after a long time. She was one person I closely bonded with,when Norwegians came to Bangalore the year before last.She took us to see the cathedral and we ate cooked,but raw shrimp and dried fish,mmm...yummi!!!

We got on the train at ten past one and reached Sund, in Inderoy at about 3.15.Sigh..such beauty does exist in a world full of strife and conflict.The Bisses,so pleasing,the staff so friendly and interested,and ofcourse the freezing of all our clothes to get rid of parasites.What a welcome!!!

Lunch was nice,chicken tikka with mushroom and rice and baby corn The sea is right in front and I can see the sun set through my window!What Joy!!!

Melkesjokolade, and a lollipop as a welcome gift along with a SUND pen and a sweet note by the Bisses on our beds. My roomi,a beatles fan,he digs Simon and Garfunkle too,the bass guitar he plays too.We just sang across the universe, with me on acoustic and he on the bass,unplugged ofcourse as it is somewhat late. He reads Chomsky and likes poetry too.Looks like a nice genuine person.

Anyway, off I go to dreamland,to the world of snoring and farting. God natt!!!Visnakkes.

Thousand HIlls

2009-08-30T00:22:00.001-07:00

Emilie, a little girl, 12 years old, lives in Rwanda, happily before 1994. She lives with her parents, two brothers and one sister. They were living in Butare town in the southern province.

7^th April, 1994 at 12.00am Emilie heard loud knocking on her door and her parents screaming ‘mutubabarire wee!’ She stayed in her room terrified till the screaming finally faded out into a mere whimper. She cried for her siblings and neighbours, but they are all extinguished in the raging fires of genocide.

The stench of charred bodies with her , Emilie fled to Gikongoro, she never ceased crying and asking for her family. The UN aid workers decided to shift Emilie to Norway as an asylum seeker. She is stigmatized, locals start jeering at her and she resorts to the use of drugs, as a self determined cure for loneliness, she falls prey to lust driven men who use her.

Jean from the local Red Cross meets Emilie one day, while she solicits men near Frederikstad. There begins a journey of change as she meets Emilie every week comforts and gives her hope. One day, Jean sees a syringe on the kitchen floor, its too late; the paramedics later find Emilie, silent and still.

A story created by Kenneth and Fify from Rwanda and lil ol me during the FK preparatory course.

The Buzz

2009-08-27T09:08:00.000-07:00

Fluttering bee relishing

the night sky shining

golden blue its antennae,

twittering,weaving signals

in 'buzz' code to the honey bees,wasps,

stingrays and cataract eyed blue birds

tiny legs numb, stomach rumbling

nausea threatening,

it flies,its relieved.

Whimsical Nuancies

2009-08-04T22:52:00.000-07:00

Sitting under a crimson sun,
sparks of pain,rooted in me,
I exist,in time I'll be gone,
to a space,free of threat.

A man trying a full split,
like my conscience
that has been cut open,
full of assumptions,devoid of love.

A lone crow, flying swiftly,
to avoid terror,be rid of pain,
my head pounding, like its sultry wings,
I fly, into the world of Ginsberg

Marijuana,arse-ripping sex,
an ascetic, in search of the dhamma,
I travel with him,
naked,balls hanging free.

My soul,cursing,
pleading,for hurt
to vanish,like subtle raindrops,
so magical, and free.

skulduggery, trickery-
trying to elicit answers,
an innocent childlike smile,
drab,like stained overalls,so grey.

Blossom

2009-07-31T22:58:00.001-07:00

A sordid flower,

blossoms in the clouds,

so grey and drab,

sudden white, the sun passes by.

The flower soft and yellow,

blooms with the new spring,

it's petals showering you and me,

with love,so deranged yet bitter sweet.

The pretty, happy flower,

grows with passion, a gigantic heart,

it has,to reach out, to guide,

it's fellows in all things, spring and kind.

Autumn comes, the flower fades,

the yellow shades,dying away,

it still pursues love,

with longing and sweet smelling peace.

Down NGV Lane

2009-07-22T09:34:00.000-07:00

[Before note : This is one of the mad experiments of two insanely crazy people (M & N) in one pathetically deranged unchartered work space... Please excuse...]

Once upon a time,we walked,

Along a pretty familiar lane,

cheerful,we talked, and rocked

(Please note, the time was but today’s same.)

Traversing down the road,

We saw a lady’s boat,

running across,the four of us,

‘Cos she was about to be toast!

We rose in spirit,we rose with passion,

We ran across, our hearts in traction,

we tore apart,feline attraction,

saving her from bloody ‘male chauvinistic’ lactation!

Full blown action,harsh reactions,

‘Full on macha!’ and crashed contraptions,

‘what ra macha’,she cried in emotive infraction

‘You tho full major’ like a simple subtraction.

The cabbie,ignited,

The goondas, united!

we were thus violated,

(not unlike the first time we dated!)

Are you her brother,a BPO wallah asked,

(that idiot pseudo-sunshine arse!)

needing to get by, furious and fast,

(we did make sure, that it was his last…)

“Do you speak kannada, or not?

If not, get lost!, or in hell you rot!

we thought, we’d smoke some pot,

Didn’t work out, ‘cos the pots were too hot!

The pigs, they came at last,

In Khakhi, hats, and lots of faux pas.

they sat,their arses, thoroughly foxed,

Their lingual tilts, across the pots tossed.

The swine,about to be pork,

Had to give in to us neutral folks fork.

We dug in deep,chopped,they ran like dorks,

And towards the pigsty, we flocked, us storks.

“Only one person talks! the rest is ’shut up’.”

‘What yyah’,we have the liberty to add up!

Anyway, the couch-glued hog asks all “whats up!”

Namaskara saar, its rumpes being felt up…

Fin rumpe,the ‘male’ masochist said…

But the complaints added up, and the action shook his bed!

he was whipped,and his rumpe turned red,

“Aiyyo saar, thumba sorry agithe!” he bled.

Women’s rights,on the sunny side of life,

Thanks to yon constitution, the pigs couldn’t take his jive,

the samba and the tango,continued in tide,

Yes ssireee bob, he’s gonna have his life’s ride!

Tears extinct,pride restored,

To us the damsel sighed and smiled…

the two goondas,looking left and right,

We wondered, and we did, take to flight!

In gratitude, with love, we sang,

we marched on with service in hand,

Providence dear, (while bells behind rang)

You, we all do deeply thank.

Sigh…back to ‘civilization’,we aligned,

The loved (unmaimed) queer blessings in mind,

we walked on with smiles alive,

With hearts so strong, and heads held high… ;)

- N & M, in a crazy moment (hour), at 9:57PM, on the 22nd July 2009, after a powerful heart (change maker), hope, blessing, and strife.

[After note: Thank you for reading! Sorry for the internal jokes!]