White Flowers that are Crimson Red-The Reality of Child Abuse

 Child abuse is a yarn that we continue to spin like an old haggard weaving machine struggling for breath, but what we sometimes fail to understand are the psychological consequences of repeated trauma experienced in childhood. Abuse and trauma in childhood forms and deforms the victim’s personality, but in adulthood erodes the structure of the personality that has been already formed from childhood through adolescence.  The child who is often held tight in an abusive environment is compelled to adapt to various situations. The child must find a way to trust people who he perceives as not trust-able  he must create safety in largely unsafe situations and find control in circumstances that are often very unpredictable and dangerous. The psychological processes and the developmental tasks involved in how the child adapts to these situations are worthy of study.

Child abuse is seen to take place in familiar surroundings like the child’s own home in which ordinary care taking relationships have been disrupted. There are distinguishing patterns that can be observed about how this abuse takes place. One form could be the use of violence, death threats, totalitarian control and the breaking up of all other relationships through isolation, secrecy and sometimes betrayal. These forms of coercion and enforcement of rules are often unpredictable but sometimes there are also instances where highly organized patterns of punishment are seen.  For example, this could be related to political prisoners where their bodily mechanisms are forcibly controlled through force feeding, sleep deprivation, starvation, use of enemas, or the prolonged exposure to heat and cold. In some cases violence and abuse can be almost ritualistic like in pornography or in various religious cults.

Children who face chronic abuse develop ways of coping with the danger they are exposed to. There is a constant state of arousal and alertness and it is known that children in abusive situations are extremely adept at recognizing warning signs of an imminent attack. This could be through the careful observation of the attacker’s facial expressions, body language, sexual arousal etc. It is seen that the child uses these observations as a mechanism for survival. The attacker would be placated or the child would try to avoid any confrontation. There are also instances where children attempt to please their abuser by being extra obedient and they try to gain maximum control of the situation by “trying to be good”. These methods of survival become second nature to the child because it is sometimes the only hope they have in an utterly helpless situation.

There is also an interesting notion which suggests that children who live in violent homes often find ways to form primary attachments to caregivers who they perceive as dangerous and violent. There needs to be a way to develop a sense of trust and safety with adults who are untrustworthy.  Self-soothing mechanisms are used to bring about a sense of comfort; bodily functions are regulated in an environment where the child’s body is at the disposal of others, and the ability to totally confirm with the perpetrator’s behavior. There is also a need for the child to find meaning in the suffering that he is going through.  A connection can be made to existentialism where preserving hope and meaning in entirely hopeless situations is considered important to forego the alternative which is utter despair. It is common that the victim here will find ways to preserve his faith in his attackers who are often his parents and will go to any extreme to rid the perpetrator’s of any blame. It is therefore understood that all of the child’s psychological adaptations serve just one fundamental purpose that is to preserve his primary attachment to her in the face of chronic abuse and sometimes just plain indifference. Attachment becomes an important area of interest here because of the child’s innate need for safety and security and when this is not achieved, it could lead to complications in adulthood where the victim would find it difficult to form and maintain relationships and most often to trust others.

The experience of violence and abuse at a young age could later manifest itself in the form of different psychological and psychosomatic disorders. This is of utmost importance for mental health professionals and others involved in helping victims of child abuse even after they mature into adulthood. There are numerous instances where patients report various physical and psychological symptoms and the causal factors for these symptoms are often misidentified. Therefore, even though treatment could reduce or modify existing symptoms, the memories and images of horrifying acts of violence and abuse experienced will still remain like an old wound that’s just begun to bleed.  

They will bleed; till they can bleed no more and one can only hope that it won’t be too late.